Should have turned around

I know the girl in the short sitting on the stairs. She's one in a kind that I am not fond of. But she looked sad, sort of vulnerable with that unsure look on her face. The kind of look that would have made me turn around and offer an ear to listen and a hug if it was needed. Its just a normal reaction I have to a face like that. But there is history there that would render any approach toward a friendly gesture as possibly vile.

But I back tracked just to see her. And then continued on again but thought to turn around, to be a single serving friend just once. I wonder right now: by not turning around to check on her, did I missed a chance at something. As vague as "something" may sound, I can imagine it to be a variety of different scenarios. Would she know who I am? If she did, would she just push me off because of her history or would she not let it bother her and accept a stranger's presence? I justified not stopping to help with the things that I know about her. The underlying deception that she once laid out before someone dear to me. I passed judgment but it was still on my heart that maybe that was the only chance I ever would have had to talk to this girl that peaks my curiosity. The only chance at a civil moment passed. Its my fault for judging though. What if those past events have been atoned for. I have no reason to hold anything against her. Thinking that, I wish I would have approached her. Failing only in knowing how I would react, not foreseeing her evaluation of the situation that she would have found herself in.

Traveling Student

The six weeks have passed and now I have been back in the states for two weeks now. Being in Japan was a great time with old friends and even new faces. I miss those people and even though I got tired of reading the same stories over and over again, I love seeing the new understand of old stories on the reader's faces. It was a long six weeks but when I got home, it felt like I had not gone anywhere. Is that normal?

My thoughts are sparatic a the moment.

God really did a number to my understanding of trusting him. I felt like it was a adult lesson in a way. He healed my hand mostly. It dried out and cracked to where it hurt pretty bad and I talked to the missionaries daughter, Angela, and she talked to me about being healed. I decided I would try and trust God to heal me. Why had I never trusted him to do that before? I prayed for a few days and as my hand healed up from being cracked, it smoothed out. That the first time I had ever seen something done that personal in my life. Second, I knew that my job would be ending a few months after I got back home so I would have to start looking for a new one unless I wanted to go back to the computer labs. No thanks. So again, I prayed.

After starting the process and mind set to start a job search, I got a call from an old boss saying that he wanted to put my name in for another job that was coming up under someone else. Really? Alright then. I fixed up my resume, sent it in, and got a call the next day. I went in, and rather than an interview, they put me right on the schedule. I didn't do a thing but follow along with what God was working out. I can't tell you how much of awe I have for the power of prayer.

I know that in James, the Word says that if you pray with any doubt in you that it probably won't happen. It's saying that you need to believe in God's granting power to come though for you when you pray. Seek and you will find.

Its a wonderful lesson, and though I don't have the prayer life that I want at the moment, I plan on making it my best habit. I hope. No one is perfect right?

He's a pretty big and unfathomable guy. I have been blessed to travel this summer to Japan and Florida. So least to say, I have spent a great amount of flying. Being up in the clouds when the block the sun, viewing the forms that you can't see standing in your front yard, its a beauty I treasure. I like to think about heaven staring at the clouds and the sung rays. Things in heaven are the things that are unseen as we are told. How do we know that we aren't flying right though Peter and Paul visiting old friends or Paul walking with some of the people he persecuted, or having an angel fly along side of us laughing and making faces? I would love to be a part of that world.

.... "I Can Only Imagine" Just started playing.

I'm a happy girl.

<3 Aeriel