Maybe I have had my eye closed to some important things

Miracles, prayer, and trust.

I know that God can work in mysterious ways but I don't think I have ever trusted him to do so. I just expected him to surprise me from time to time. Now that I think about that, I feel ashamed that I thought that way. The other day, I prayed that God would heal my hand and a week later, the rough spot I have had on my hand has started to go away. I have all intentions of giving credit to him even when I tell others and they are skeptical of what I say. "Maybe it just isn't active right now." but I trust that "Maybe God really does answer when you ask him for something".

But I'm left thinking, what about the others that pray for something and aren't healed, or delivered from something. Do I pass that off as not having enough faith? Of course not. God has his reasons, even when they confuse us and sometimes don't seem fair. Or maybe he is just taking longer to respond. He does that I hear. It took him, what, 400 years to deliver his people from slavery? Time has a different meaning to him, if it has any meaning to him at all.

Basically, with the thoughts I have had lately, I have been wondering if I have really been as close minded as I think I have been. In worship, prayer, trusting him to actually answer my prayer, etc. But it scares a Church of Christ kid such as myself to wander away from the conservative thinking. But I know that we weren't meant to hold ourselves back in how we worship and trust God. He sure has not held himself back in how he blesses us and works in us... and forgives us. Why would I be conservative in how I serve him? In how I trust in his word? In how I trust that he will come to show himself to people that are open to accept him? In the promise of eternal life?

I feel like holding myself back from taking that big step in my faith is a sin in itself. I don't want to play it safe. Then I think about the other people around me and fear what they would think if I actually took that leap (or step, or hop). I fear them pushing me away if I do such a thing. My parents, my friends, but not God. I know that if I opened up more to him that he wouldn't leave me vulnerable.

This is a reason why I love the UC. I have seen how real the students there want to be with their faith and how they support each other. If I can take that step, I will have family that will leap with me or already be across the jump waiting to help me find my footing. Pretty awesome.

I was talking with a missionaries daughter his in Japan, Angela, about how she was given the feeling of how God feels when the children worship him. He's so delighted. She knew that it was her turn to step it up in the children's worship that she leads at the church she attends. How amazing would it be to be so in tune with God that you are receptive to the messages he tries to send you everyday?!

Just a few things that I had on my mind today. Here's hoping I don't forget them tomorrow.

-Aeriel <3