I want to write something beautiful. Something that will move me every time I or someone else reads it. The only problem is that there doesn't seem to be anything to really write about at the moment. Nothing is moving me enough to create anything new. Its sad really, because I feel like I need to release something deep but I can't pull it out of me. Writing is a private thing for me that I let only a few people see. I love it because I actually think before I put something into print, unlike my everyday conversations where I just blurt out the first thing that comes to mind. Ever feel that way? like you just can't give yourself a break? I don't know right now. I'm probably in the middle of some change that I will realize and write about later. Nothing to special at the moment.

I could talk about going to Japan in May, I guess. Thats going to be fun. Or Colorado next weekend (march). Lord knows my history with that place though I've never been. How did I get myself into these things anyhow? They are huge risks but I'm going still.

Lord, I want to walk closer to you. To feel your hand on my shoulder through the day. To know what to say to others. To know where to go each week and who to seek out. Help me to be a light in this world. Give me strength, patience, and wisdom. Thank you for the lessons you are teaching me in life, for the great amount of love I've been shown, and for the sacrifice of your son. Please forgive me for the sings that I have against my name. Help me to seek you out each day. Guide my steps and those of the people in my life. I ask for the good health of my loved ones and of those who are yet to come into my life. Thank for the UC family that you have given me this semester. They are all special to me in different ways. Michael, Ryan, Corwin, Josh, Erin, Melisa, Kathryn, Cortney, Megan, Allison, Heather B, Jesse, Michelle, Jentry and Paige, Matt and Melisa Mills, Monty and Jenny Daffern, Sabrina and her family, Kasey Y, Nathan Turek. So many people in my life and you're the one that put them them. I'm sorry for turning away as I often do, but Father, please help me to persevere and stand under pressure. Give me the drive to complete tasks and run through new ones. Thank you for each day and the promise of eternal life through your son and my savior. In his name, Amen.

I guess this is where you teach me patience and how to wait on you as well as listen to you more closely.....Thank you.